Some time ago I had an appointment with my son to go running in ‘The Delftse Hout’ in Delft. We decided to find out how far we could come. Well, we ran at about 7 kilometers, I had a slightly better condition as at this moment.
Anyway, what I want to tell you are the things that rose to my consiousness during this exercise.
It startet like this: 
The weather is nice and we have mapped out a nice route, this route is beautiful, I can see that, I can even see some specific details. . .
This lasts for about 2 kilometers and then I start to notice that the details are ‘running’ out of sight and after a while thay have completely disappeared. What I can see is the road I am running on and which way I have to go. . . .
The further we get, the smaller my field of vision, I only see a small part of the road and at the end of our exercise, it just vaguely flies by under my feet:
I lost in every way my ability of making contact with the area around me, the only thing I notice is my own status: exhausted!
I only have eyes for my own needs, just because I got into trouble wanting to perform, to get a target, to set a record etc. In daily life we call this condition ‘being in a state of survival’. It made me think of all these people who are running all day long, busy with being busy.
It’s the moment where your partner and friend start to think: ‘where is this nice guy, this lovely girl, with whom I used to have fun with.’
Well this nice guy is busy with himself, is moody, quickly irritated, sleeping not so good, feeling more and more pains coming up. For the outside world quite logical, but for himself hard to see.
Time for a change!?! I would say ‘Yes’. Start now with changing your lifestyle/habits or perhaps in a few years be forced to do so by a burnout which will keep you on the counch for a few months wenn your body has said a very strong ‘NO’ to you. Feel like you’re drifting this direction then ask for help. Your friends will certainly listen, otherwise you can always consult a professional. . . .
My goal? Being tired . . . . . and yet remain friendly and socially! . . . . . . . it has not worked yet. I keep practicing!
